Cabarrus County Neighborhood Watch www.cabarrusneighbors.com (including Cabarrus Woods & Victoria Park) www.informationnet.info

Only a true Southerner

Submitted by: Sandy of Ocala, Fl.

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" them.

 Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess." 

Only a true Southerner makes friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

Only a true Southerner knows how to point you in the general direction of "yonder."

Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in:  "Going to town, be back directly."

Only a true Southerner knows that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for a white, granular sweet substance that sits in a bowl on the middle of the table.

Only a true Southerner knows exactly when "by and by" is. 

Only a true Southerner knows the best gesture of solace, for a neighbor who's got trouble, is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece."  

Only a true Southerner knows that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

Only a true Southerner knows grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Only a true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

Only a true Southerner says "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

Only a true Southerner knows that if you are with a couple of friends, you could be with 2 or 10.  The number doesn't matter.

Only a true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. 

Only a true Southerner doesn’t assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

Only a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drives 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.